It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
