God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
