Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Canadian or clown?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.