I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize