Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
