i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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