When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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