Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
