have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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