Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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