Your mouth is God's brothel.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
