at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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