just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
