420 ftw
this boner is exhausting
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
