You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love you. Go after that dick
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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