it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
