Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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