He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
