i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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