I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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