Yo dont text me then not text me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
