i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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