I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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