its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
