The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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