For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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