its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
