She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
im on a boat
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