It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
