i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
