i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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