ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
should my penis look like a turkey
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize