Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
