I hate your face
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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