I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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