You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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