worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
