She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
