I am puke
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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