the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
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I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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