Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I fill condoms, not promises.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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