Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
