Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
not ubering you a puppy
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
