I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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