I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
