we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
