if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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