Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
