his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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