who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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