You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
