dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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