if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
