So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
