So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
