Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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