Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
