I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
