Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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