we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize