like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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