You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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